Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
