Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
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Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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