How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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