He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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