Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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