Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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