A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
