how can u be prego again
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Randomize
