no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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