i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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