woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize