she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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