Old men and throwing up are my life now.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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