I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
