His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
we should paint friendship bongs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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