Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
