Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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