he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
