my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
