: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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