I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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