New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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