this boner is exhausting
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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