Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize