i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he shaved USA in his pubs
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
He passed out mid-signature
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
