I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
