After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
My balls are so social today.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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