Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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