i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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