FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
