she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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