So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Holy shit dude........stairs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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