I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
