I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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