When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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