he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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