You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
