i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
