thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
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Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
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It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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