How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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