I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I supernannyed him into submission
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
