I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize