i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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