he wants to bone in the snuggie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
