Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
