and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
