fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
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