Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
