how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
