brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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