Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
