she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
