Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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