I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
