You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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