i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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