His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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