So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight