I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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