windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
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Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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