Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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