I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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