U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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